I know it in my head but I don’t feel it in my heart. What I want to do, I don’t do and the thing that I do not want to do, I do. I know what to do and what not to do and, though I know the distinction, my heart is blind and ignorant to it. I know the gospel in my head, but it is my greatest fear and most sobering thought that my heart is far from it. Lord, Lord! did I not lead your people to love you more? Lord, Lord! did I not lead praise for you? Lord, Lord! did I not go where you told me to go and do what you commanded me to do? Blankly the King stares and says, I never knew you. Though you may have known me, I don’t know you.
It’s easy to fake it. It’s easy to smile, to show compassion, to pray for someone, to lead praise, to be a christian one day of the week, to offer your tithe, to go on missions- it’s easy to pretend to be a Christian. In fact, it’s so easy that you might not even know you’re pretending. You might say and believe that you’re a christian when, really, the King doesn’t know you. If this is the case, how can we be sure that our faith in God is true and genuine? Scripture says that true, genuine, saving faith is followed by action and deeds (James 2:14). But what does this look like? Does this mean that, if faith is genuine, good works and actions come as an automatic by-product, requiring no individual effort or will power to do so? Or does this mean that, though our heart may be reluctant to change and though we might not what to do a certain good work, we do so anyway, by faith?
My big question is this- What is the lie you’re living? Think of the image people have of you: If i were to go to one of your friends and ask what they thought of you, I’m sure that mostly good characteristics will be listed. But let’s just say, hypothetically, I went to the throne room of God and spoke with Him, face to face, and asked the same question. God what do you think about so and so. What would He say? And, let’s just say, after my interview with both your friend and God, I sat down to compare my notes. Would there not be a disparity between the two? Sure, the degree to which they differ will change from person to person, but nonetheless, the disparity will be there. What is the lie you’re living?
Dear tumblr reader,
I am here to confess that I am not who people think I am. My life, sinful. My sin, shameful. My shame, unbearable. I am an insecure, selfish, and immature man who lusts after things of the world. I long for worldly pleasures. I yearn for the ‘unforgettable, regrettable night” that friends will talk about for years to come. I am not a man of self-control nor am I filled with love and compassion for others. I preach about the cross and point people to Christ when I don’t even have the strength nor the wherewithal to guide myself. Tumblr reader, do not think I am being overly dramatic or cynical- if only I had the courage to break down all the walls and share with you just how dark my heart is.
And yet, I have the audacity to go before Him and ask, “please, one more chance. Please, one more chance.” His grace is too deep for me. His pardon is too great for me. His mercy is too loving for me. For someone like me, He is too great. For someone like me, His death was too rich. I do no deserve it. someone like me does not deserve it. Empty handed, dirty, and poor I come to the table, asking for a crumb, a speck, from the feast and, seeing me, He stops the music, comes down from His seat to pick me up. He knows how dirty I am and yet,He embraces me, lifts me up and carries me. He washes me, clothes me with fine garments, and lets me sit next to Him at the feast. He feeds me the best food and offers to me the best wine. He announces to all His guests that I am His son. He is too good to someone like me.
Christian, have you known grace like this? That erases all your past, present, and future mistakes? Brother, sister, have you known a better love than this? That forgives your adulterous heart and welcomes you home every time? Believer, have you known a greater sacrifice than this? That offers you the best seat in the house at the cost of His own, beloved Son.
God You are truly too great for me.
Please God, steer me in the right direction
Teach me your ways
Most importantly, change my heart.
Remind me that there is no sin too great, no distance too far
Grow me in faith
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