What do you when your mind is there but your heart isn’t? What do you when you know what sin is- you know what you need to be doing versus what you don’t need to be doing- and your mind knows but your heart
You don’t feel remorse over your sin even though you know something is sin. Are you with me on this? What do you do when there’s a gap between your head and your heart?
You position yourself under the waterfall of grace and you wait while you walk in obedience. One step at a time. One day at a time, asking for the Lord to break your heart, asking for the Lord to restore to you the joy of your salvation, asking God to make Him your treasure. Be honest with God whether that means you’re in the desert or the low part or the struggle- and you wait.
They who wait on the Lord, He will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and no longer be weary. They will walk and not grow faint.
Although they can rejoice that God has begun the good work in them, they often tremble lest it should not be God’s work at all. They will tell you that if they are abundant in faith yet there are times when they are superabundant in unbelief; that if sometimes they are full of works of holiness, yet there are times when they weep many tears to think that those very acts of holiness were stained with sin. The Christian will tell you that he weeps over his very tears; he feels that there is filth even in the best of desires; that he has to pray to God to forgive his prayers, for there is sin in the midst of his supplications, and that he has to sprinkle even his best offerings with the atoning blood, for he never else can bring an offering without spot or blemish. You shall appeal to the brightest saint, to the man whose presence in the midst of society is like the presence of an angel, and he will tell you that he is still ashamed of himself. “Ah!” he will say, “you may praise me, but I cannot praise myself, you speak well of me, you applaud me, but if you knew my heart you would see abundant reason to think of me as a poor sinner saved by grace, who hath nothing whereof to glory, and must bow his head and confess his iniquities in the sight of God.” Grace, then is entirely unmerited.
28 years old
DanKook University class of 2007
1. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you’re closer to someone than you really are.
2. At the core of any strong relationship is commitment. Commitment says, “I’m with you through thick and thin. Even at your worst, i’m going to accept you. I am not going anywhere. I. will. not. leave. you”. Christ embodies what it means to be committed in that He knowingly died for you and I, despite acknowledging our worst. On the cross, He looks down at us and sees these dirty, ignorant, prideful people and you know what He does? He intercedes! He CRIES OUT “Father, forgive them”. On the cross He declares it, loud and clear. ”I. will. not. leave. you. Though you nailed me here, to this cross. Though you beat me for hours, to the point of death. I. will. not. leave. you.” And He does it, not because we are worthy or beautiful or lovely. No. He does it to MAKE US worthy and beautiful and lovely. Are we, too, not called to such commitment? Any relationship without commitment isn’t worth keeping. Save your time. How do you hope to continue?
3. Predestination vs. Free Will. I submit. I give in. As much as I’d like there to be a clear-cut answer, there simply isn’t. I’ve wrestled with the idea that we, alone are responsible for our salvation and that the power to change our hearts, to reject the world, and to put our faith solely on God could come from within. I cannot accept it. How can I change my heart? If not for God’s hand in my life, how could I? And if, truly, it were up to me, how could I ever trust my salvation? Am I really saved? What if I was just saying it with my mouth and not really with my heart? No. I can NOT take credit for what God has done in me. I chose God because He FIRST chose to work in and on me. That part of my faith has not change. Predestination is biblical truth. it is explicitly written in scripture and not just in one or two verses, but all throughout it. Words like ‘chosen people’, ‘elect’, ‘predestined/predestination’- read your bible. It’s there. However, I cannot say that my perspective on free will hasn’t changed. I now believe that, though God is sovereign over every work and every deed, our actions and choices do carry weight- they are significant. My decisions matter. I can choose left or right, to do good or to do wrong. Yes, both are truth. I can live with not knowing how they work together.
4. You can’t live your life without stepping on a few toes. You’ll come across people who don’t like you, who’ll put you down for no reason at all. They’ll talk about you and spread all sorts of lies about you. And hey, that’s completely ok. You cannot please everyone. It’s impossible. We are, however, called to please THE one. Set your eyes and focus on the prize. If you’re more concerned about how people perceive you and what they think about you, more times than not, you’re running towards the wrong goal.
5. People with trust issues are hard to get close to. I know. I have trust issues too and very rarely do I find myself opening up much less asking for help. But when the bible says to bear each other’s burdens, i think it refers to the person laying down the burden as much as to the person bearing the burden. Yes, we’re called to share in each other’s burdens, to pray and to edify one another, but we are just as much called to lay those burdens down and to ask for help, knowing full well that the ultimate help comes from God. To bear burdens, burdens must be laid down. We’re not called to carry everything on our shoulders, God didn’t make us strong enough for that. That’s why He came. That’s why He died. It’s time we stop acting like it.
6. I struggle every day of the week to remind myself who I belong to. I’m trying not to give in. I’m trying to run away as temptation knocks at my door. I want to be a man of Christ but I’m not strong enough for this. How long can I go? Pray for me please.